Over the years, things have become less and less black and white for me. There was a time, not too long ago, where I could much more easily lash out at people for just being morons. However, the more I have learned and experienced, the more difficult it becomes for me. This is not to say that I don't still do it. I do. In fact, I do it frequently. And I love to watch others do it, especially when they are able to do it with Comedy - people like Sam Kinison, Lewis Black, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, and Carlos Mencia (among many others) amuse me immensely.
Oftentimes, however, I am reduced to thinking of so many things as a matter of perspective. The people with varying religious viewpoints, the people that hate attorneys, the people that battle addictions, and the people that stay in failed relationships, I view with less of a judgmental eye. To an extent, this has always been the case, as I have always tried to look at things from the other person's perspective and understand their point of view; not necessarily agree with them, but at least understand their perspective.
It used to be more difficult for me to accept things as they were. I wanted to fix, improve, and help to change and mold. At times, the entire desire could be just a tiny bit overwhelming. I wanted to shake the girl and tell her to snap out of it, and that he was terrible for her. However, I learned that she is happy enough with him to stay, and that if she truly wasn't, she would leave. I wanted to tell certain religious people that they needed to recognize that they are trying to impose their views upon others, and that mandating beliefs through legislation is not very nice. Now I see that their hearts are often in the right place. I have found that religious differences can be debilitating and can open people up to being judgmental, harsh, and mean. However, the people doing these acts do not consider themselves mean. It's all a matter of perspective.
This doesn't mean that somewhere deep inside of me there isn't often a deep bellowing. A powerful and exacting desire to lash out at certain groups, leaders, and people. To tell them that they have lost their damned minds and need to get over themselves. Many times this message is delivered. However, it's delivery now often emerges with the realistic acceptance that the recipient will likely not hear or understand what I have to say, and that my words have only the slightest chance of having any life altering impact upon them, and that this is ok.
The overarching theme that I have learned is that all you can really ever change is yourself, and all you can ever decide is what is right for you, not for others. The best one can really ever hope for is to plant a seed and hope it grows. Wait and hope, the best advice ever offered by one of my favorite literary characters.
Oftentimes, however, I am reduced to thinking of so many things as a matter of perspective. The people with varying religious viewpoints, the people that hate attorneys, the people that battle addictions, and the people that stay in failed relationships, I view with less of a judgmental eye. To an extent, this has always been the case, as I have always tried to look at things from the other person's perspective and understand their point of view; not necessarily agree with them, but at least understand their perspective.
It used to be more difficult for me to accept things as they were. I wanted to fix, improve, and help to change and mold. At times, the entire desire could be just a tiny bit overwhelming. I wanted to shake the girl and tell her to snap out of it, and that he was terrible for her. However, I learned that she is happy enough with him to stay, and that if she truly wasn't, she would leave. I wanted to tell certain religious people that they needed to recognize that they are trying to impose their views upon others, and that mandating beliefs through legislation is not very nice. Now I see that their hearts are often in the right place. I have found that religious differences can be debilitating and can open people up to being judgmental, harsh, and mean. However, the people doing these acts do not consider themselves mean. It's all a matter of perspective.
This doesn't mean that somewhere deep inside of me there isn't often a deep bellowing. A powerful and exacting desire to lash out at certain groups, leaders, and people. To tell them that they have lost their damned minds and need to get over themselves. Many times this message is delivered. However, it's delivery now often emerges with the realistic acceptance that the recipient will likely not hear or understand what I have to say, and that my words have only the slightest chance of having any life altering impact upon them, and that this is ok.
The overarching theme that I have learned is that all you can really ever change is yourself, and all you can ever decide is what is right for you, not for others. The best one can really ever hope for is to plant a seed and hope it grows. Wait and hope, the best advice ever offered by one of my favorite literary characters.
"A powerful and exacting desire to lash out at certain groups, leaders, and people. To tell them that they have lost their damned minds and need to get over themselves."
ReplyDeleteThis describes exactly what I feel as I watch the news every night.
Very well said. Keep up the good blogging.
Oh wow, you've decided to stop judging other people and just live your own life. how novel. bravo.
ReplyDeleteyour blog is so overly critical of others, its no wonder that you're alone and the women around you don't want to date you.
you learned one of the greatest lessons there is to learn in life.
ReplyDeleteThings are never black and white. No one is ever 100% wrong or 100% evil or 100% good. Everyone has good stuff. Everyone makes mistakes and once you accept everything exactly how they are you become free to just live your life the way you want.
Great post!
The Thinker ~ I agree.
ReplyDeleteJen ~ Actually, I have felt this way for a long time. I was actually trying to explain my thought process to a friend with this post. It really is weird how many people like me given how terrible I am. You're pretty special to be able to figure out who I through a blog.
Rachel ~ Very true.
Very true--I try to remind myself of the shades of gray when I am tempted to judge others. I had to do that in church on Sunday visiting my in-laws. "Many of these Southern Baptists are good people just figuring things out," I kept reminding myself, "even if their preacher is inflammatory, even if I don't agree with some of their tactics or beliefs."
ReplyDeleteI read a really interesting book during my intro class for the Episcopal Church. The guy who compiled the book purposefully included the darker areas of different thinkers' lives. My reaction to the first philosopher was, "But he was a racist!" He was, but . . . he also contributed on other topics to the church's development. The idea of the book was that we all have shortcomings, yet we can all offer great gifts despite those shortcomings. It was really interesting and inspirational.
i have always been the one to play devils advocate, even from a young age...
ReplyDeleteover the years i have learned to accept that others cannot or will not look at multipul sides of an issue....
in some ways this has left me out on my own too....
maybe i am being self centered, and maybe even a little prejudice, but i think it takes a higher level thinker to be able to accept that there is a gray area....
keep up the great posts