Fumbling for a Topic

I have been at a bit of a loss as to what to write. I have also lacked the time to do so. I do not feel as guilty for not writing as much anymore, though, as I feel so few people still read my blog. That could be false. I do not really check my statistics, but I assume fewer people are reading what I have to say, as I seem to have less things to say.

I thought about saying something regarding politics, but I really have nothing to say. Unlike most people, I do not seem to like anyone running for office. As near as I can calculate things, pretty much anyone that gets into office will have done so by raising millions and millions of dollars, and I assume that lots of that money will have come from special interest groups, to whom the candidate will be beholden, and nothing will really change. All that might change is we will, hopefully, have a more articulate president. However, I still do not feel I will be adequately represented. How can someone that makes over $500,000.00 a year really know what is important to me? I just do not feel they will. There are lots of exciting sound bytes, though. I keep hearing about "change" and "experience". So, I assume we are to anticipate experiencing a change, but I have not been listening too closely.

I could talk about my trips. A few weeks ago, I spent the weekend in a house built on stilts in the middle of the ocean. There's something you don't do everyday. It was really cool to be able to wake up every morning, look out of whichever window you happened to pick and see ocean, and it made experiencing sunrises and sunsets much easier. It also made it easier to relax because really, what the hell else are you going to do. The night before we left, a few of the folks there were cleaning some fish they had just caught and out came the bull sharks, and there went the fishermen - all trying to hook themselves a shark. Unfortunately, no one was really equipped to take down a shark, but I have a feeling that in the coming months, I am going to hear a story about how one of the folks there caught a shark and now I have to come help them eat it.

This past weekend, we went hiking. Well, in Florida one does not really go hiking so much as off-road walking. However, we do have mosquitoes and alligators that keep you on your toes. For example, yesterday we saw six - that's right, I said six - alligators. One idiot was crazy enough to go walking up to one of the 'gators so that he could get a better picture. This must be why God made alligators afraid of humans - we are freaking crazy. We had enough foresight to forgo the canoing adventure, as it looked like it might rain and just as we departed, the skies opened up and released a deluge. We were left with no choice but to all retreat home, and consume an entire pork shoulder. I think my life may be less complete without various pork products.

I really have not been writing here as much as I would like. Much of it has to do with time constraints. However, another part of it is not knowing what to write. I often find myself struggling to find a good topic, or something I find interesting enough to say something about. Perhaps I should create a suggestion box.

Parents Just Don't Understand

One of the issues that often arises in probate and trust administration is that the parents frequently underestimate the ability of their children to fight like it's a holy war. They also do not effectively understand the nature of their assets or what the implications of some of their decisions during life are. For example, I once administered an estate where the single mother died in a car accident at the age of twenty-six. She had made a beneficiary designation during her life with respect to some life insurance she had through her job. In her infinite wisdom, she had designated her co-worker - not her six year old daughter or her sister or father, the people that were going to end up stepping in and actually raising the daughter but a female co-worker. This wouldn't have been such an issue but the co-worker was not the brightest bulb and when the insurance company refused to pay, she lacked the requisite resources and capacity to pursue them and try and collect. The decedent had not understood the implications of making this designation. She had expected that the co-worker would use this money for her daughter's benefit and the co-worker seemed to understand this, as well. However, it did not work out that way, and even if the insurance company had paid, there would have been nothing to force the co-worker to do so.

An estate that I am currently administering is equally interesting. The mother believed that she had almost half of a million dollars that she could dispose of under her Will. Post-death, we learned that actually, her four hundred thousand dollar account was a payable on death account, to her three children. Suddenly, we had an insolvent estate, with not enough money to go around for all the creditors that she had, and we could no longer satisfy the specific bequest she had left for her old and now blind mother. We had an additional problem, the person she wanted to be her personal representative, her son, who had been handing all her financial affairs for her prior to her death, couldn't serve as personal representative, as he was once convicted of a felony. (For those of you playing at home, a DUI or DWI is often a felony.) One more problem for the trifecta, the three children do not communicate in any sort of way that one might characterize as healthy.

Part of the problem when you are drafting an estate plan for someone is you are limited in your knowledge. You often do not know all of the details about the client's children. If you are made aware of the potential relational issues that are sure to arise, it can still be a nightmare to plan around them, however, at least you can plan for them. You also do not know what the person did outside your office that may affect the ultimate disposition of their assets. For example, you do not know if the client has made an account payable on death to someone, like a former spouse. Oftentimes, the client is not even aware of the implications of this, or the fact that these types of designations for insurance policies, retirement accounts, and other various accounts, control.

It gets even better when the daughter, acting as personal representative, decides she needs to hold everything up because she thinks her brother absconded with over eighty thousand dollars of mom's money and you are stuck spending weeks on the phone with the bank, trying to get them to rush statements to you because she does not want the account closed until she has looked. However, you are not allowed to tell any of the other beneficiaries (who are waiting for their money) this information, as it's attorney-client privilege, and you technically represent the daughter. What the daughter fails to realize is that you still have to disclose some financial information to the other beneficiaries when they ask you, and that if you do not, they will end up getting their own attorneys and commence litigation and watch that four hundred thousand dollars evaporate in a matter of months.

It would be more funny if these types of things were not common occurrences. It is almost an estate planner's standard day to encounter heirs that just do not get along. For while the picture perfect families seem to exist on television. They do not appear to exist in our offices, and people need to plan with this in mind.

Tarnish

"Where have you been?"

He could tell from the sound of her voice and the frenzied look upon her face that he was not going to be able to simply slide off his shoes and climb into bed, which was just about the only thing he wanted to do at this point. There would now have to be explanations and discussions. He would have to reassure her and comfort her, and relive the details and he was simply not looking forward to it. He had been dreading it the entire way home, and had even considered spending the night in a hotel. He had only decided to come home because he figured sooner or later, he would have to get it over with. He would have to explain. She was never going to understand.

"Look, Susan. Can't we just say that I am a busy man? Sometimes, I just have to leave at a moment's notice."

"But we were in the middle of making love. You don't just get up and run out the door in the middle of that."

"I sensed that I had to go. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, and who would understand? Maybe this Lois woman? Hmmm? Well, I'm not Lois and I am tired of being compared to her. Is that who you went to see? Is it?"

He was tired of the accusations. He could not help who he was or the call of duty he felt compelled with every waking moment of every day. He was not like ordinary men and it was a struggle for him to try and keep his relationship together while still trying to fulfill this duty he felt the need to fulfill. He knew his psychologist would have something interesting to say. Probably along the lines of, "Why do you feel the need to save everyone?" or "Perhaps you should focus on yourself and your needs," but how could he do that when the forces of evil were out there waiting to pounce upon the land and topple the bastions of freedom in the world. How could he possibly compare his relationship to such high stakes things. Lois would have understood. Then again, maybe she wouldn't. After all, hadn't she left him too - right at the alter, saying, "I just can't do this," as the sound of bullets filled the air. They wouldn't even let him have a moment's peace on his own wedding day. Just thinking of it made his blood boil.

"I did not go to see Lois. I don't understand why you always think I'm going to see her. Did you think my life was going to change when we started dating? That the world was going to somehow need me less?"

"I do not understand why you always seem to feel all of these people need you. I am not looking for someone that I have to share with the "world,'" her fingers encircling the word. "I want a husband; I want someone I can share my life with."

And there it was, that sound of exhaustion and resignation in her voice. He did not feel that he could comfort her. What was he to do? Tell her the whole truth? He could not risk that? The ride was over - once again faster than a speeding bullet. How could he find the balance that he so desperately searched for in all of this. He did not want to say goodbye to Susan, but he did not want the world to fall into the clutches of evil either. Maybe J'onn would be able to help. He often seemed insightful on these matters, which was odd given his heritage. He struggled to find the words for her; something to tied her over until he could arrive at something better. "Always trying to save everyone - patching up everything but never truly healing," the words of wisdom he paid to hear every week.

"Please. Don't leave. I will try to be better. We'll work on it."

Reluctance appeared in her face.