Memorial Day

My office does not recognize a lot of holidays. So I had assumed Memorial Day would pass unobserved, and then on Friday I learned that I would not be getting just two days off this weekend, but three. Three glorious days of doing absolutely nothing. Well, not doing work at least. I took full advantage - doing four loads of laundry, shopping with my best friend, cooking, reading, sleeping and using my body as a solar ray collector. Brilliant. I also had a couple of thoughts.

I do not think I saw any parades, memorials, or celebrations. Where I grew up, there were always parades and everyone would come out to see the festivities. However, since I moved to Florida, I do not really remember the last time I have seen a Memorial Day parade. It is not like I miss them or wish there were more of them or anything like that. I just started wondering if maybe the day has less meaning down here. We are supposed to have this day off to recognize the sacrifice the members of our armed services made for us. Instead, we go out and shop retail.

Gas is just too darn expensive. I do not know if anyone noticed, but it is over $3.00 per gallon. What the heck? I thought the war was over. I thought the refineries were back up and running. Why are gas prices still sky high? It should not cost me that much to fill my gas tank and if it is going to, there ought to be better public transit so that I can avoid having to use my car.

It positively amazes me when people update their blogs every day, or even every other day. I do not know how they do it, or where they find the time, and they always seem to have something to talk about. It is astounding to me. Oftentimes, I stare at the screen not sure what might come out if I were to type. I start thinking of writing about fiction and enchanted plants - not the type of plants that feed on human blood, mind you, but you get the general idea. Perhaps I could create a entire set of fictional characters to live inside my blog and they could have many misadventures for your delight and amusement. Then people could direct their angry emails to them instead of me.

I'm Back

Yes, yes, I know, hold your applause and spontaneous eruptions of joy and jubilation at my return. We all know how much you missed my absence, waking up each morning and immediately firing up the computer to see if I had posted something with all my vacation time, only to find the same silly post sitting there, announcing my absence, forcing you to find some other reason to carry on with your life. It was a hard life for you, I'm sure.

However, I needed to get out there. I needed to explore. I needed to go the the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg. I needed to sip cocktails with my friends and cavort on the open waters looking for alligators for my girlfriend. Because, gosh, what could be cooler than to find some sort of reptilian creature that could kill you while on vacation? What, I ask you. I needed to wander around the silly towns that I live near and explore the various architectural styles that were present in each, become quickly bored with doing so and leave it up to my girlfriend to snap pictures and revel in the experience. I needed to sit on a beach and allow my skin to come to terms with this crazy thing they call sunlight.

Why did I need to do all of this, you might ask. Because I was on vacation, silly. What else are you going to do on vacation other than relax? Besides, if I hadn't been relaxing as hard as I had, I wouldn't have suddenly been so struck with the concept of pornography as to feel the need to write a post about it. No, I wasn't watching it. I was recalling one of the first times I ever watched a video and just being completely blown away by the idea that really attractive women would totally take their clothes off and have sex with some random guy for money. That still blows me away, no pun intended. Isn't that prostitution, by the way? I don't know. What do I look like, an attorney? Oh. Really? Well, never mind then.

I don't get it, though. Some women have said that it's empowering to take off your clothes and such. However, aren't men supposed to be the ones with all this "power" and you don't see us taking off our clothes to feel empowered. I guess some men must do it for that reason, but I doubt many of them would have the branding power of a Jenna Jameson or a Brianna Banks. I guess it just baffles me why women would do it. I would think attractive women willing to have sex for money could more easily find some really rich guy to have sex with and marry, rather than have sex with random guys they are cast with for millions of strangers to watch. I don't see how that becomes empowering. I don't see how I would view a woman that did that as empowered. I appreciate it. I think it's awful nice that someone would go ahead and do that, to satisfy all the men and/or women out there that want to see it, but the motivation for doing it completely eludes me.

My girlfriend and I watched some show one night, maybe it was on HBO, or maybe it originated on HBO and was edited for network television later, but it involved porn stars and following their lives. I remember one woman who was becoming rather famous for her career but who could not find a man to love her or want to be with her for anything other than sex. It frustrated her so much. I imagine it would be like dating a massage therapist and always wanting them to give you a massage - as if that is the only reason you are with them. However, this is above and beyond that. I guess most guys only want one thing when they are hitting on a girl, but when they are hitting on a porn star.... I understand where she is coming from, but in a way, I feel like it's like walking around in pants and a bra and then complaining that guys keet checking out your breasts.

All I can think is that the psychology behind it must be rather complex.

Vacation

For those of you playing "Where in the World is J", I will be leaving tomorrow morning on vacation to random areas of Florida. Only one destination is firmly planned and the rest are all dependent on weather and fire conditions. I couldn't care less, as long as I am relaxing and not having to come to work. Somehow this last week has been more stressful than most in recent memory and I simply cannot wait to see my girlfriend and hang out with a couple of my best friends and relax.

Every morning, I am now greeted by the lovely scent of the fireplace that is the state of Florida, while a thick smoky haze covers the risen sun. As you can see here, Florida has no shortage of heat, and the next time we get any decent amount of rain, it is likely going to be such a shock to the soil that it won't know what to do with itself. Forget worrying about hurricanes, we're going to need to hope that at least five of them to hit this year, just to bring us back from this insane drought we are experiencing. Unfortunately, the winds of the approaching storms will whip the flames about and likely spread any fires already blazing before they hit land.

One may ask, "Why did you decide to vacation in this fiery, dehydrated, smoke infused wasteland?" to which I answer, No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. Besides where else could I have the chance of getting really exciting photos of flames and terror? California, you say? But that's a long plane ride. Besides, as a last resort, I can just point my car south and end up in Key West in a matter of a few short hours.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Timing Issues

I got the timing belt in my car changed this weekend. For those of you not familiar with such things as automobiles, a timing belt (more or less) controls the opening and closing of the engine valves, making it a rather important little hunk of rubber (unless your timing belt is actually a chain) to be spinning around in your car. Every 80,000 to 100,000 miles, you are supposed to change it (and often the water pump because of the pump's location). Otherwise, the belt might break, and if the timing belt breaks, you're screwed. If you try to restart a car with a broken timing belt, you're way more screwed. Unfortunately, the timing belt in most vehicles is incredibly difficult to get at and so the labor can be rather expensive. It's a good thing that the car manufacturers are nice enough to provide clear and precise instruction as to when to change it. It is unfortunate that more things like this are not written down for people.

For example, waiting for over a month, until just before you're about to have sex for the first time, is probably not the best time to tell your boyfriend that you have herpes. Gosh, wasn't that such an exciting experience for him. Then nagging him for months later about him wearing a condom when you have sex because well, he "probably has it anyway", also probably not the best approach. "I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Sooner or later you're going to catch it anyway. After all, we're getting married." We are? When did that happen? I only looked at the engagement rings, I didn't buy you one, and while I am busy making my decision, as much as I love you, I would rather not contract a disease that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Is that ok with you?

"I wish you wouldn't say that, it makes me feel bad for having it. It's not my fault that I have it." I never said it was your fault, I was merely explaining to you that it is an incredibly difficult item for me to deal with at the moment, a fact that you do not seem to understand. All you seem capable of thinking about is how you feel about everything. You wanted to move in and get engaged after we had been dating six months. You were on a path to marrying me, you saw our future so clear, and you were so ready. Now that it turns out that I wasn't following along that path with you, as much as you professed that you thought I was right in taking our time, you are not happy because it is not on your time table.

Some people spin at different speeds and, unfortunately, there's no timing belt in place to keep everything firing at the correct pace. Gears and valves can get mangled in the process, as we hope against hope that the engine won't explode, because that would be one hell of a repair job. I have a friend still getting flowers, emails and text messages from an ex who is fully convinced that they will reconcile and be together again, even after she told him she'd call the police if he didn't leave her alone. Everyone has their own perception as to the status and direction of a relationship. Hopefully, the people involved have a similar enough image as to where things are going so that everything keeps spinning together.

* To be clear this post does not relate to my current girlfriend. I would have labeled it past tense, but I really did just get my timing belt changed.

Sidewalks

The thing that I think I noticed the most about Chicago while I was there this time, other than how amazingly warm it was compared to the last time I was there (it was in the 80s, people) was the city layout and its amazing sidewalks. I do not think there are many places that I can think of in South Florida that have sidewalks as big as they have there. It is so pedestrian friendly, and encourages people to walk and explore the city, without too much fear of being knocked into oncoming traffic. I love that. It makes me want to live in Chicago, and if it was not for the bitter, bitter cold and the wind that rips right through you and strips anyvestige of warmth your body may have otherwise been able to hide away, ignoring any articles of clothing you might have thought would insulate you from its cold icy grasp, I would be planning on moving there before the year was out. On the bright side, planes seem to enjoy flying to the Windy City like addicts returning to their dealers, so I should have no problem returning there in the future for their gorgeous sidewalks and, if I plan correctly, I may be able to avoid its cold icy grasp.

While I was there this time, I went to The Field Museum, took a water taxi to The Navy Pier, sampled a cheezeburger at The Billy Goat Tavern, and another, an hour later, at The Weber Grill Restaurant. (I do not think I have consumed that much red meat in at least a year and my body is still trying to figure out what to make of the experience.) I also got to taste the glorious cinnamon buns at Ann Sather's, enjoy many fine libations at Charlie's Ale House, and stroll over to The John Hancock Building, and that was just on Saturday. There really is just so much to see and do in that city. So much so that even after you run out of all the typical tourist things that one might do, there are enough additional activities to keep you occupied for at least a few years, I imagine. (I've posted pictures of some of my experiences on my Flickr page, which I have added a link to in my sidebar, in case any of you are interested.)

I really had a tremendous time while I was there. Unfortunately, my flight got back so late (which in many ways was incredibly fortunate, as I was running extremely late and would have most likely missed my plane entirely if it had not been completely delayed in its arrival to - and hence, its departure from - Midway), and I am still trying to recover. However, I have to think that a little fatigue is a fine price to pay for seeing an enchanting woman and a beautiful city.