It started out as a simple idea - a blog. A place for me to share MY thoughts, MY ideas, and MY persepctive on things with my friends, and moreover, a way to better chronicle my life. I've tried writing in journals and it doesn't work for me. Emails worked, but their longevity was subject to hard drive crashes.
I have gotten some really cool things out of my blog, I have met some really interesting people, Kiki, her sister, Sass, Sarah, BJ, all sorts of folks. I have learned about them and sort of shared in their lives as they have encountered obstacles or have wanted to express a thought or emotions or something. It's been a really great experience. I have also gotten some really negative things from it, and somehow today, the negative is overwhelming the positive.
I've been considering my options for weeks now. Blogger doesn't allow me to lock down my blog - password protect it. So I could shut it down, and move it over to LiveJournal. I already have an account there, and I can lock down all of my posts so that only other members who were also listed as my friends (selected by me) could read it. However, that sucks because you have to pay (I think it's $1.00) to be a member and read what I write. I could revert back to emails. This comes with its own pitfalls and I would miss the thoughts and comments of the cool people that read what I write. I could ignore the negative comments. I think Stephanie has become an expert at this tactic. I'm amazed she can keep it up with the comments she gets. Finally, I could delete the comments with no response or explanation.
I am not sure what I will do, but a solution has to be found because I am really tired of mean (and anonymous) people commenting on my blog, telling me that what I think is wrong, telling me the way I view things is wrong, and overall, telling me I'm a terrible person for thinking or acting in a manner of which they don't approve. I'm tired of people incapable of simply not reading a thing that they feel is written by terrible person.
I have gotten some really cool things out of my blog, I have met some really interesting people, Kiki, her sister, Sass, Sarah, BJ, all sorts of folks. I have learned about them and sort of shared in their lives as they have encountered obstacles or have wanted to express a thought or emotions or something. It's been a really great experience. I have also gotten some really negative things from it, and somehow today, the negative is overwhelming the positive.
I've been considering my options for weeks now. Blogger doesn't allow me to lock down my blog - password protect it. So I could shut it down, and move it over to LiveJournal. I already have an account there, and I can lock down all of my posts so that only other members who were also listed as my friends (selected by me) could read it. However, that sucks because you have to pay (I think it's $1.00) to be a member and read what I write. I could revert back to emails. This comes with its own pitfalls and I would miss the thoughts and comments of the cool people that read what I write. I could ignore the negative comments. I think Stephanie has become an expert at this tactic. I'm amazed she can keep it up with the comments she gets. Finally, I could delete the comments with no response or explanation.
I am not sure what I will do, but a solution has to be found because I am really tired of mean (and anonymous) people commenting on my blog, telling me that what I think is wrong, telling me the way I view things is wrong, and overall, telling me I'm a terrible person for thinking or acting in a manner of which they don't approve. I'm tired of people incapable of simply not reading a thing that they feel is written by terrible person.
i was wondering what all this reflection on leaving your blog was about, but i just checked out the last post and comments... wow.
ReplyDeletefirst of all, if you had "named names", that would be one thing. but you didn't, so sass is right, she outed herself.
secondly, why is it that you're under the impression that this guy cheated on this girl? rumors? something your ex said? something HE said?
whatever the case, it's clear that they have trust issues or infidelity issues, or else acquiantances like yourself wouldn't be under that impression. rumors are rumors, but they start from somewhere.
i used to be that girl... the one that her boyfriend could sweet talk her in to thinking that while they may have a few trust issues, he would never cheat on me. EVERY TIME, i should have trusted my instinct. because after i broke up with them, it always come out down the road that they were indeed cheating on me.
i'm not saying this dude is cheating, and that's really not the issue (digress) - the issue is that this is YOUR blog, and unless you are naming names or outright making up lies, chances are this girl is just angry that her relationship has a reputation for being shaky and that you put it out there.
that said, i've had my fair share of negative comments on my blog (and i have a feeling i'll gain another "faithful" reader today), but you gotta let it roll off your back. these anonymous posters hide behind their comments and aren't willing to back them up with a name or a face. it's so easy to throw stones when no one knows who you are, because then they can't be judged themselves. don't let people like that drive you away from something you enjoy doing.
and these mean comments speak volumes about the type of people that are posting them... unable to disagree with a post in a constructive, reasonable manner. they're just filled with insults and condescending words, and anyone can stoop to that level.
you put your thoughts, positive or negative, out there for people to accept, like, agree, disagree, whatever. and for that, i respect you.
I agree with Sarah, J. You just have to let it roll off your back.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous mean posters are just always going to be around no matter what. I've deleted one comment that I thought was just rude from someone.
And after googling revolvinggirl I found a girl who hit next blog came to mine, and said if her blog ever turns out to be like mine to slap her. Ugh. Beotch.
You could always change your setting so only other bloggers could comment, and then just delete any negative ones. I dunno.
Screw 'em.
ewwww kiki, someone said that about you? that's just dumb.
ReplyDeletehonestly, i don't know why people CARE so much. to get so worked up about a blog and take the time to write negative things is BIG FAT.
i would understand on a political blog, or a post that is discussing world affairs, but we're talking dogs, friends, cooking, and other silly things.
and again, to those anonymous posters, if you feel so strongly about something, get your own blog!!
They (A person named Amanda) did indeed say such things. I don't really think her blog is that great though either. However, I just don't read it. Isn't that brilliant?
ReplyDeletePssshhh, plus she hardly has any comments. Especially from cool people like I do. ;)
ReplyDeleteLike Sarah said, if it was a political blog or like then it would be understandable to have debates etc. But it's not!!! It's just random thoughts/diary/daily happenings/stories. Why do people feel the need to be negative and put in their two cents?
Grrrr.
there ya go kiki. http://www.flora-culture.com/blog/2005/06/ugh.html
ReplyDeleteSarah and Sass, it seems like both of you feel derision toward people who post anonymously..and yet, I posted as myself and each of you had something negative to say about that. I didn't feel like I had to hide, and I wanted "J" to know who I was. Thus, I posted as myself.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I asked "J" to respect my privacy, and he is honoring my request. I kindly ask that you do the same. I don't want my life to be a topic of discussion simply because I value my privacy, nothing more. Please don't look for more drama than that.
And "J", thank you for honoring my request. Best of luck in your blog decision.
the complaints about anonymous posters was not referring to you cali, obviously. that is a separate issue that we have all had to deal with recently.
ReplyDeletebut sass and i thought it was ironic that you complained to j about invading your privacy, when in fact, NO ONE here knew who you were or who he was talking about, until YOU posted.
but this is the last i'll discuss it - just put my two cents in...
and i agree - j, good luck with your decision, and we hope you'll stick around.
What Sarah said.
ReplyDeleteJ, looks like you're someone people love to hate! Nothing wrong with that, look at how popular it's made your blog.
ReplyDeleteNobody hates you J. In fact I love you!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Don't quit your blog!
Oooh ...Look out Cody.
ReplyDeleteJay,
Don't go away, it's a freaking blog that's it. People think they know you and assume they "understand" you based off of a paragraph or two. They haven't a clue......I don't either, I can only assume your as rational and stable I think you are.
You put yourself out there and let your opinion be heard ... for yourself, your loyal blogging friends, and to assist the negative one's in opening their own minds. If they aren't open to it, then yes slander is inevitable. But when a conversation has begun and they ask you to explain yourself (which I see a lot on your blog) it helps you and them understand one another.
Just don't go away. Leave it open. I commend Cali for coming out and adressing you. That took balls.
I will email you an article my from the U Penn Communication Dept. about the impact Bloggers now have on the Society. It's blogs like yours that help us be more open and understanding.
I vote for keeping it open.
Oooh ...Look out Cody.
ReplyDeleteJay,
Don't go away, it's a freaking blog that's it. People think they know you and assume they "understand" you based off of a paragraph or two. They haven't a clue......I don't either, I can only assume your as rational and stable I think you are.
You put yourself out there and let your opinion be heard ... for yourself, your loyal blogging friends, and to assist the negative one's in opening their own minds. If they aren't open to it, then yes slander is inevitable. But when a conversation has begun and they ask you to explain yourself (which I see a lot on your blog) it helps you and them understand one another.
Just don't go away. Leave it open. I commend Cali for coming out and adressing you. That took balls.
I will email you an article my from the U Penn Communication Dept. about the impact Bloggers now have on the Society. It's blogs like yours that help us be more open and understanding.
I vote for keeping it open.
Thank you, Sass :)
ReplyDeleteOkay love is a strong word--especially being that I don't know you. :)
ReplyDeleteBut if you stop blogging you will definatley be a cotton-headed ninny muggins for doing so.
I wasn't looking for popularity. :-/
ReplyDeleteCali,
ReplyDeleteYou make some excellent points!
I wonder if "J" will think this is a negative statement also......
I guess the truth hurts and if everyone on this blog does not agree with "J", then they are negative and of course wrong......
I have to wonder how an outsider could know of your relationship unless he was the one that was participating in the cheating....Then he would have first hand information.....Otherwise, it is just made up gossip!
You sound like you have alot of security in your relationship!!
J---
ReplyDeleteDon't end you blog on my account....Obviously you need it!
Since different opinions from yours are considered negative and seem to threaten you, I will say good bye.....
Reality,
ReplyDeleteYou must simply be really unhappy with yourself and your life - so much so that you have to garner your attention through my blog. Otherwise, I have no idea why you would continue.
You are a narrow minded fool. How could an outsider have a better perspective on a relationship than the people in it? Why does an abused woman stay with her abuser while everyone on the outside of the relationship knows it's a mistake? The truth is there are no absolutes. People make their decisions and people do what they do, and others judge them for it. Just like I just judged you as a narrow minded fool who is unhappy with him/her-self and your life, and who feels compelled to be contrary to anything I say. Sometimes the others are right, and sometimes they are not. However, when you are outside of something, it can be easier to see the forest for the trees.
Other people have disagreed with me both on this blog and on others. Some have taken it up with me on the phone, through email, through IM, in person, or through the medium that is "blog". I have no problems with them.
I have a problem with you and others like you because 1) you are anonymous; 2) you really seem to genuinely feel that I should think like you; 3) you don't like what I have to say on my blog, and you feel it necessary to come back and tell me about it, instead of not reading it; and 3) you're mean, confrontational, arrogant, and can't accept that my viewpoint differs from yours. You and I are not going to agree, but you seem to feel that my lack of agreement with you is a fault. I'm not looking for you to convince me, change me, or provide me with YOUR reality. I get it, you disagree with me. Good for you. Now that you've shared that, go out and play.
What I feel you need, as I have said before, is your own blog. So that you can express yourself freely. Express your thoughts, your views, your whatever, and leave me alone.
I just stumbled across your blog. Note how I said "your blog"-- yours, not anyone else's. You can write whatever you want.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the negative comments, I say take them with a grain of salt. That one from 'reality' was so absurd-- why even bother responding to unintelligent people who make no logical sense???
Blogger.com is a fun place! Stay here, say whatever you want to-- I think you have a great policy. I'm a columnist for my college's newspaper, and I've regularly written (pretty bad) things about my ex boyfriends who go to the same school as me. I omit their names (but they and our mutual friends all know who I'm referring to.. oops!), and it's no big deal.
Anyway, I enjoy the blog. And since you're too nice to say it, I don't like that ex's cousin. The fact that you presumed to know her husband has been unfaithful is pretty irrelevant to anything she said-- the post was not a gossip post. It was a story.
In the end, at least they're reading you. People may hate you, but at least they're reading you. And that's all that matters.