Timing Issues

I got the timing belt in my car changed this weekend. For those of you not familiar with such things as automobiles, a timing belt (more or less) controls the opening and closing of the engine valves, making it a rather important little hunk of rubber (unless your timing belt is actually a chain) to be spinning around in your car. Every 80,000 to 100,000 miles, you are supposed to change it (and often the water pump because of the pump's location). Otherwise, the belt might break, and if the timing belt breaks, you're screwed. If you try to restart a car with a broken timing belt, you're way more screwed. Unfortunately, the timing belt in most vehicles is incredibly difficult to get at and so the labor can be rather expensive. It's a good thing that the car manufacturers are nice enough to provide clear and precise instruction as to when to change it. It is unfortunate that more things like this are not written down for people.

For example, waiting for over a month, until just before you're about to have sex for the first time, is probably not the best time to tell your boyfriend that you have herpes. Gosh, wasn't that such an exciting experience for him. Then nagging him for months later about him wearing a condom when you have sex because well, he "probably has it anyway", also probably not the best approach. "I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Sooner or later you're going to catch it anyway. After all, we're getting married." We are? When did that happen? I only looked at the engagement rings, I didn't buy you one, and while I am busy making my decision, as much as I love you, I would rather not contract a disease that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Is that ok with you?

"I wish you wouldn't say that, it makes me feel bad for having it. It's not my fault that I have it." I never said it was your fault, I was merely explaining to you that it is an incredibly difficult item for me to deal with at the moment, a fact that you do not seem to understand. All you seem capable of thinking about is how you feel about everything. You wanted to move in and get engaged after we had been dating six months. You were on a path to marrying me, you saw our future so clear, and you were so ready. Now that it turns out that I wasn't following along that path with you, as much as you professed that you thought I was right in taking our time, you are not happy because it is not on your time table.

Some people spin at different speeds and, unfortunately, there's no timing belt in place to keep everything firing at the correct pace. Gears and valves can get mangled in the process, as we hope against hope that the engine won't explode, because that would be one hell of a repair job. I have a friend still getting flowers, emails and text messages from an ex who is fully convinced that they will reconcile and be together again, even after she told him she'd call the police if he didn't leave her alone. Everyone has their own perception as to the status and direction of a relationship. Hopefully, the people involved have a similar enough image as to where things are going so that everything keeps spinning together.

* To be clear this post does not relate to my current girlfriend. I would have labeled it past tense, but I really did just get my timing belt changed.