I'm often not ready to hear it. I know I asked for it. I know they are probably right, but I'm just not ready to hear it. But they tell me because I asked, and they know I will never hold it against them. Besides, usually, in the end, I end up understanding and accepting it.
I once explained a situation I was having to one of my best friends. She has always taken really good care of me and has looked out for me a lot. She's like my older sister, which I've never had. Her response was as follows:
"Sounds like she is immature and needs to figure this out on her own. I felt the same way about a guy I was dating once, and I just was not ready to accept a "nice" guy. It took me a while and finally I had to accept myself first before I could accept a "nice" guy. I don't think you should have to wait around for her to get to that point and by the time she is there, she probably still won't be able to accept you as the "nice" guy she finally goes for.
"Not the thought you want to hear, but I think it is better to be alone, than to be wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship. Some girls never come around and like to be treated like this always! My sister is a prime example!"
Today I received a phone call from another "prime example". She wanted to know if she should go back with the guy that screwed her over three other times, and how she could get the guy that hasn't called her back in a week to show her some attention.
"Well if he showed you attention, you wouldn't be interested would you?"
"No."
"So really, this guy is a genius, and is playing the game perfectly because, after all, you love a challenge. If this guy were just nice to you and called you back, you would think, 'Why is he calling me back? He must be desperate.'"
"Yeah.... I'm so tired of the game."
"Well, when you really get tired of it, you will stop dating the guys that treat you poorly for the challenge of trying to make them act differently and start looking for one that treats you well. However, I don't envision that happening right away, as you clearly can't stop thinking of the guy that hasn't called you back yet."
I once explained a situation I was having to one of my best friends. She has always taken really good care of me and has looked out for me a lot. She's like my older sister, which I've never had. Her response was as follows:
"Sounds like she is immature and needs to figure this out on her own. I felt the same way about a guy I was dating once, and I just was not ready to accept a "nice" guy. It took me a while and finally I had to accept myself first before I could accept a "nice" guy. I don't think you should have to wait around for her to get to that point and by the time she is there, she probably still won't be able to accept you as the "nice" guy she finally goes for.
"Not the thought you want to hear, but I think it is better to be alone, than to be wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship. Some girls never come around and like to be treated like this always! My sister is a prime example!"
Today I received a phone call from another "prime example". She wanted to know if she should go back with the guy that screwed her over three other times, and how she could get the guy that hasn't called her back in a week to show her some attention.
"Well if he showed you attention, you wouldn't be interested would you?"
"No."
"So really, this guy is a genius, and is playing the game perfectly because, after all, you love a challenge. If this guy were just nice to you and called you back, you would think, 'Why is he calling me back? He must be desperate.'"
"Yeah.... I'm so tired of the game."
"Well, when you really get tired of it, you will stop dating the guys that treat you poorly for the challenge of trying to make them act differently and start looking for one that treats you well. However, I don't envision that happening right away, as you clearly can't stop thinking of the guy that hasn't called you back yet."
i myself am guilty of loving the chase and becoming bored with the nice guy. but now i'm in a pseudo-relationship (meaning we're not official) with a nice guy, and i am really happy.
ReplyDelete