The best part of my weekend was Friday night when I was at my friend's house. We started going through her volumes of pictures. Eventually, we got her yearbooks out, which she evidently annotates. I'd never seen (or created) an annotated yearbook, with "BFF" and "GFF" and markings as to who was who throughout a yearbook. Maybe this is because I am a boy. I have to say, however, that this adds so much to a yearbook after years. Even your friends who never attended your school can have fun piecing it all together. At one point, I asked my friend who this one girl in her yearbook was and she got all upset. Evidently, this was the girl that had been her best friend in high school, but who had destroyed that bond by fucking her boyfriend. Good times.
Eventually, more people showed up. The cast of characters included a young woman with huge breast impants and very low cut dress. I was warned going in - "Don't stare at her breasts." I tried to explain that it wouldn't be a problem, as I'm used to women with fake everything - I did live in Miami. "You don't understand. You will try not to look, but you cannot help it. I can't even help it and I'm a girl." She was right. The funny part was that they weren't even that great, but you just couldn't help it because they were almost falling out of the dress. You literally felt that if she turned the wrong way, they could spill out. She had even asked her fiancee as they left their house, "Is my nipple hanging out?"
I ended up passing out by about 11:30, and my friends kept drinking until 2. I just can't drink the way I used to anymore. There go my dreams of alcoholism.
I was supposed to go out on a yacht in Naples with another friend on Saturday, but as soon as I got to Naples, it started to pour. So I went home that night, spending some of my leftover weekend reading some more of Augusten Burrough's Running with Scissors. Wow. I don't think my childhood was anywhere near as messed up as his. I still cannot see the humor in most of his tales. They seem so depressing. Perhaps if they were fictional they could be charterised as funny, but as soon as I think of the fact that these things really happened to someone, it just boggles my mind.
I hope your weekend was drier than mine.
Eventually, more people showed up. The cast of characters included a young woman with huge breast impants and very low cut dress. I was warned going in - "Don't stare at her breasts." I tried to explain that it wouldn't be a problem, as I'm used to women with fake everything - I did live in Miami. "You don't understand. You will try not to look, but you cannot help it. I can't even help it and I'm a girl." She was right. The funny part was that they weren't even that great, but you just couldn't help it because they were almost falling out of the dress. You literally felt that if she turned the wrong way, they could spill out. She had even asked her fiancee as they left their house, "Is my nipple hanging out?"
I ended up passing out by about 11:30, and my friends kept drinking until 2. I just can't drink the way I used to anymore. There go my dreams of alcoholism.
I was supposed to go out on a yacht in Naples with another friend on Saturday, but as soon as I got to Naples, it started to pour. So I went home that night, spending some of my leftover weekend reading some more of Augusten Burrough's Running with Scissors. Wow. I don't think my childhood was anywhere near as messed up as his. I still cannot see the humor in most of his tales. They seem so depressing. Perhaps if they were fictional they could be charterised as funny, but as soon as I think of the fact that these things really happened to someone, it just boggles my mind.
I hope your weekend was drier than mine.
Drier? We had the driest September on record in the DC area this year, and it didn't change over the first two days of October, so I'd have to say YES.
ReplyDeleteDry, cool, beautiful, and full of joy and elation. I hope all your weekends were at least half as wonderful as mine, and that your next is as well, J.
That reminds me, I need to break my yearbooks out of storage when I go back to the southlands...thanks for the topic. And I don't think our being male has anything to do with making it that much more interesting or amusing to read annotated yearbooks. Can't say I annotated mine, though, at least beyond the signatures of those who wrote near their pictures.
Sorry. My punctuation made the part about the yearbooks ... confusing. I've edited it, and I think it is clearer now.
ReplyDeleteMy weekend was ok, but I think next weekend has better potential of exceeding my expectations - as I don't have any. :-)
Yeah, the revised punctuation renders that observation obsolete. Thanks for making it stick out like a sore thumb, J. *thpbbbbt* heehee I agree with the new interpretation, though, I don't think many guys annotate their yearbooks. Too much work, and besides, we figure we'll just remember the important stuff anyway, and if we don't remember it when we look later, it must not have been that important! That's the case for me, at least.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on having no expectations of your coming weekend! It is true - when you have no expectations, you can't be disappointed or resentful, and that's goooood! =)
I read "Running with scissors" a couple years ago and I have to agree with you, a lot of the stories *were* really depressing.
ReplyDeleteI read DRY a while back - Augusten writes from a somber depressed voice in a positive manner. He makes you appreciate what you have and realize what it's like to go with out - when you know you are going with out.
ReplyDeleteSass, I'm not sure I agree with your assessment or review, but I haven't gotten too far in Dry yet. Thanks for your input, though.
ReplyDeleteAs a caveat, I think you mean "awhile" and "without", but I could be wrong.
We got our yearbooks at the beginning of the following year at registration so we could never actually get signatures or anything. Isn't that stupid? I mean, you could get them...but it'd be kinda weird starting off the school year like that.
ReplyDeleteIt just started pouring here and the sun is completely out. Weird.
I hate when rain ruins your plans like that... rain usually makes me lazy and never want to get motivated to do anything other than lay on my bed/couch rent stupid movies and eat icecream!
ReplyDeleteLooking at yearbooks is fun! I kinda want to look at my yearbooks from elementary school.. Im sure Id die laughing at everyone!
I have a client who comes into my law office all the time- and she has breast implants... and no matter how hard I try NOT to look, I always do... I dread her drop ins. lol
ReplyDeletesometimes you just can't help but stare if they're just hanging out there!
ReplyDeletethat sorta rhymed.
anyways, i also pass out early these days when i drnk. it's a sign of maturity, or old age!