Every time I date, I want to quit. I just think the process is so ridiculous, and I suddenly start feeling that my life really cannot be that lonely or boring to necessitate me dating these morons. I start wondering why I am out with them, and start comparing them to people I have had relationships with in the past; picking apart and dissecting them, noting exactly how they simply do not measure up to what I want or what I would be happy with. By the end of my lunch date today, I decided that maybe I really should just stay single. How bad could it really be?
This week I am interviewing people for the receptionist position at our firm. I think I have interviewed about a dozen or so people already, and its worn me out beyond belief. You sit there explaining the position to all of these people over and over again, and interact with them hoping you will see that something special when you speak with them. Hoping that you will find the next great thing. You see the hopefulness in their eyes. They want the job; they need the job. Desperation is unattractive, in a date or in an interviewee. You stare at their resumes because you don't want to tell them that you have no desire to hire them or that they simply have no chance of getting the job because you know how much it sucks to be out of a job. You have been there. You have been the person starving and trying to pay your bills and hoping the next interview is the one.
Suddenly, you are now on the other side. You worry about people being "over qualified". You worry about whether they will be happy in the position, and how long they will last. Now periods of brief employment make you nervous. You worry about whether they will be able to handle the job and not alienate any of the clients. You want to ask the right questions, ferret out their personality and get to know what makes them tick all in the span of one hour, at most. Some shine, and some sit dimly there, unaware of everything that is passing through your mind at that moment.
I often feel the same way now when I am dating - trying to learn more about the person, and figuring out whether they would be right for the position of my girlfriend, or really any position in my life at all. You worry about the type of person that they are, what they will be like in a relationship, whether they will be happy with you and you with them. Fret about prior brief relationships that they have had, and any baggage that they might carry. Soon dating becomes a little bit like interviewing where you start getting a sense within about fifteen minutes of how well the interview is going to go. You hope against hope that they will come out with something stellar that will blow your mind and leave you thinking, I want them, but at the end of the date you say your goodbyes with things ending just about the way you expected. You learn to trust your instincts more, but at the same time you get completely fed up with the entire process and just wish you could find someone to hire.
This week I am interviewing people for the receptionist position at our firm. I think I have interviewed about a dozen or so people already, and its worn me out beyond belief. You sit there explaining the position to all of these people over and over again, and interact with them hoping you will see that something special when you speak with them. Hoping that you will find the next great thing. You see the hopefulness in their eyes. They want the job; they need the job. Desperation is unattractive, in a date or in an interviewee. You stare at their resumes because you don't want to tell them that you have no desire to hire them or that they simply have no chance of getting the job because you know how much it sucks to be out of a job. You have been there. You have been the person starving and trying to pay your bills and hoping the next interview is the one.
Suddenly, you are now on the other side. You worry about people being "over qualified". You worry about whether they will be happy in the position, and how long they will last. Now periods of brief employment make you nervous. You worry about whether they will be able to handle the job and not alienate any of the clients. You want to ask the right questions, ferret out their personality and get to know what makes them tick all in the span of one hour, at most. Some shine, and some sit dimly there, unaware of everything that is passing through your mind at that moment.
I often feel the same way now when I am dating - trying to learn more about the person, and figuring out whether they would be right for the position of my girlfriend, or really any position in my life at all. You worry about the type of person that they are, what they will be like in a relationship, whether they will be happy with you and you with them. Fret about prior brief relationships that they have had, and any baggage that they might carry. Soon dating becomes a little bit like interviewing where you start getting a sense within about fifteen minutes of how well the interview is going to go. You hope against hope that they will come out with something stellar that will blow your mind and leave you thinking, I want them, but at the end of the date you say your goodbyes with things ending just about the way you expected. You learn to trust your instincts more, but at the same time you get completely fed up with the entire process and just wish you could find someone to hire.
lost9oddess says...
ReplyDeletethose first 2 sentences are my sentiments exactly. my pattern: a couple of weeks of dating followed by a couple of months of not meeting guys.
good luck hiring someone at the firm. maybe you'll luck out and hire someone who ends up as a great employee AND gf (the secretary? lol).
When I was single, I had a 'person specification' for 'the one'. My husband did not even get an interview. Thank G*d he was persistent, stubborn and 'bloody minded' :) For some reason, I never had these traits on my list!
ReplyDeleteI agree with miladysa, and with your assessment of the dating thing. It does sort of require an interview process, one where you're trying to learn as much as possible in a short amount of time, while sticking to determining if this person's qualifications meet with what you're looking for. The key thing is, ... you have to know what you're looking for. If you don't know that, there's not much point in interviewing!
ReplyDeleteSome good books on the subject: I read SpeedDating 101 and Truth In Dating and found them to be quite helpful after I a) found myself newly single after being not so for quite a few years, and b) knew I didn't have enough experience in dating to go blindly trying it again and end up in another multi-year investment in another person that may also turn out to be, um, ill-invested.
As for interviewing for work...ICK, I hate that feeling too. I did it once, to find one of my successors - hated every minute of it. Congratulations on your intestinal fortitude for stomaching it and continuing to function in your job.
All dating is--is interviewing with the potential of sex later on.
ReplyDeleteFinding one to fill the position though--that's a toughie.
Special K ~ Nice Pun.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDelete