I was very indirectly reminded of something through a response to my previous post that life can get in the way of a relationship. Suddenly, someone gets a new job and is more busy, family members and friends get sick, injuries and illnesses occur, financial difficulties, job loss, other people, etc.
This always made me question the love of Romeo and Juliet, or movies of that vein because the infatuation or love depicted did not have to last. It did not have to survive the bachelor parties, the long hours, the financial hardships, the insecurities, the past baggage, and the day to day worries and concerns that is life - well perhaps not the life of Paris Hilton, and the like, but the life of most of the people that I know. Basically, Romeo and Juliet got off light. I know, it's romantic, and it's star-crossed, and it's love, and they were soul mates, and blah blah blah. However, would Juliet have stayed with Romeo for all of the bad times? How long would it have lasted? Could you imagine their Thanksgiving Dinner?
People are constantly in search of this perfect person. This person that "completes them", and the simple fact seems to be that a lot of people do not seem to be finding this person. All the Internet dating service sites, find love books, and other miscellaneous paraphernalia, clearly indicate that love is illusive for most. The "soul mates" are few and far between. People grow and change and life happens and suddenly the "soul mate" is long gone. People want such contradictions in others and expect such odd things to just magically happen at times.
I went out on dates with several women that simply believed wanting a relationship would make it happen. They were really busy and very goal oriented. They had next to no time to date and get to know a guy, but refused to accept this. These were the women that were simply too busy for relationships and could not understand it when they either couldn't find a guy or the guy they were with suddenly wasn't there anymore. Women can be contrary with their desires, wanting a man who is very goal oriented and successful, but who doesn't work "too much". I'd imagine men do the same thing. We are victims of fairy tales and lies that attempt to convince us of this utopian life that does not exist. When we fail to achieve it we feel stupid and weak. We feel as though we have failed, and become depressed.
We are often not shown that love involves work. We hear about it, but we rarely see it. I mean what is "work" to people in the on-demand age? The movies are all about the meeting and the falling in love. It is compartmentalized and all of the horrors of romance are resolved in a 2 hour period. It is shocking to some that find that reality moves slower than a movie, and that they cannot simply order their significant other with mushrooms and pepperoni, and have them delivered to their door? We are not taught that lots of perfectly decent people end up alone. We are not very well educated in reality because we want the fairy tale. I mean who wouldn't want the fairy tale and the happily ever after ending. It's simple. It's perfect. It's easy. However, life is rarely any of those things.
This always made me question the love of Romeo and Juliet, or movies of that vein because the infatuation or love depicted did not have to last. It did not have to survive the bachelor parties, the long hours, the financial hardships, the insecurities, the past baggage, and the day to day worries and concerns that is life - well perhaps not the life of Paris Hilton, and the like, but the life of most of the people that I know. Basically, Romeo and Juliet got off light. I know, it's romantic, and it's star-crossed, and it's love, and they were soul mates, and blah blah blah. However, would Juliet have stayed with Romeo for all of the bad times? How long would it have lasted? Could you imagine their Thanksgiving Dinner?
People are constantly in search of this perfect person. This person that "completes them", and the simple fact seems to be that a lot of people do not seem to be finding this person. All the Internet dating service sites, find love books, and other miscellaneous paraphernalia, clearly indicate that love is illusive for most. The "soul mates" are few and far between. People grow and change and life happens and suddenly the "soul mate" is long gone. People want such contradictions in others and expect such odd things to just magically happen at times.
I went out on dates with several women that simply believed wanting a relationship would make it happen. They were really busy and very goal oriented. They had next to no time to date and get to know a guy, but refused to accept this. These were the women that were simply too busy for relationships and could not understand it when they either couldn't find a guy or the guy they were with suddenly wasn't there anymore. Women can be contrary with their desires, wanting a man who is very goal oriented and successful, but who doesn't work "too much". I'd imagine men do the same thing. We are victims of fairy tales and lies that attempt to convince us of this utopian life that does not exist. When we fail to achieve it we feel stupid and weak. We feel as though we have failed, and become depressed.
We are often not shown that love involves work. We hear about it, but we rarely see it. I mean what is "work" to people in the on-demand age? The movies are all about the meeting and the falling in love. It is compartmentalized and all of the horrors of romance are resolved in a 2 hour period. It is shocking to some that find that reality moves slower than a movie, and that they cannot simply order their significant other with mushrooms and pepperoni, and have them delivered to their door? We are not taught that lots of perfectly decent people end up alone. We are not very well educated in reality because we want the fairy tale. I mean who wouldn't want the fairy tale and the happily ever after ending. It's simple. It's perfect. It's easy. However, life is rarely any of those things.
I think that relationships are successful depending on your expectations.
ReplyDeleteYou can't expect to change anyone.
You know who the person is and is this someone who you'll be able to love forever or someone you'll be sick of in a couple years.
You can imagine your life with them and what it will be like realisticaly-and it doesn't bother you because you want something more.
And knowing that there will be problems. Hard ones. Problems that you are willing to work out because you have a companion for life who loves you unconditionally.
I think that's all probably true. There is the problem that you can't anticipate everything.
ReplyDeleteYes but that's when you have to just trust your instincts. They'll always lead you in the right way.
ReplyDeleteBut see my previous post.
ReplyDeleteI think anticipation is fear of being unprepared. You can't anticipate most things. There are general laws of anticipation--but no guarantees. Tis the beauty of life!
ReplyDeleteRight ... but that's only a re-iteration of part of what I said. Life happens.
ReplyDeleteLOL - was reading your post above and read retardation not reiteration. I digress.
ReplyDeleteYour absolutely right we are a nation standing in front of microwaves saying hurry up. Like momma said, 'you can't hurry love.'
Guess we're all just looking for the one that . . . well ... doesn't make me guess if it's right or wrong.
I still want the fairy tale, just as long as my prince will help me mop the floors and take the dog for a walk.