Where can I begin other than with the simple statement, "I love chocolate milk." No, that is not to invite any sexual innuendo or speculation. Last week, we went grocery shopping and there was a huge container (for you novices, that's one-half gallon) of chocolate milk, and I remembered that I had been thinking about buying chocolate milk for months now but never seemed to be able to find any fat free and hormone free chocolate milk. Yet, there it was, staring at me with its beguiling packaging, indicating the deliciousness that lay within. I repeat, no sexual innuendo intended. Later, I brought the milk home and poured myself a glass. The delicious velvety texture invited me to savor as much as I could, and me being weak, I nearly finished the glass in one drought. The versatility of this brown liquid concoction of awesome was fully revealed when it became apparent that it even tasted good with vodka because of course that's the test of any real liquid - whether it makes liquor more palatable.
And so, my friends, that's how I invented the light bulb. Wait, no that's not right. Where was I? Ah yes, my absence.
Well, the short answer is I ran out of things to write. I kept worrying about what everyone else might want to read or find interesting that I was paralyzed and could not write anything. Even when my very overweight male neighbor was seen in black dress with stockings and heels, I simply couldn't bring myself to type the words out. Oh, sure, people might find this anecdote interesting, but what's a few lines. I need more. I need something of substance. I need something special. I was also really busy and often very tired, as a result of my insomnia that seems to come and go as it pleases.
Then I woke up one morning and was over it. Partially thanks to antihistamines forcing me to sleep at least seven hours every night. Thank you modern medicine. Not to mention the healing powers of fat free chocolate milk. One could almost argue that it should be a crime for something to taste that good and not be illegal, but that someone would not be me. I am too busy arguing for other things and getting paid for it. Plus, I have better thing to talk about here than chocolate milk. I mean who would go and write a post about chocolate milk? Seriously. Oh, really? Oh. Well, never mind then.
And so, my friends, that's how I invented the light bulb. Wait, no that's not right. Where was I? Ah yes, my absence.
Well, the short answer is I ran out of things to write. I kept worrying about what everyone else might want to read or find interesting that I was paralyzed and could not write anything. Even when my very overweight male neighbor was seen in black dress with stockings and heels, I simply couldn't bring myself to type the words out. Oh, sure, people might find this anecdote interesting, but what's a few lines. I need more. I need something of substance. I need something special. I was also really busy and often very tired, as a result of my insomnia that seems to come and go as it pleases.
Then I woke up one morning and was over it. Partially thanks to antihistamines forcing me to sleep at least seven hours every night. Thank you modern medicine. Not to mention the healing powers of fat free chocolate milk. One could almost argue that it should be a crime for something to taste that good and not be illegal, but that someone would not be me. I am too busy arguing for other things and getting paid for it. Plus, I have better thing to talk about here than chocolate milk. I mean who would go and write a post about chocolate milk? Seriously. Oh, really? Oh. Well, never mind then.
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