"I refuse to date another woman that I care about."
"Oh Jeez. You've lost your mind again. I warned you about doing that."
"I haven't lost my mind. I'm just tired of getting hurt. I think it's better to be with someone I just mildly enjoy than someone I actually love. I seem to perform much better in those relationships."
"You're not letting this one go are you?"
"I think women should all have that Fox Mulder poster hanging in their rooms - 'I Want To Believe'. They all seem to wander around desperately hoping that the man they have fallen for will somehow change, act differently, appreciate them more, stop hitting them, drink less, buy them flowers, spend more time with them, want to do the dishes, etc. Meanwhile the men they find that actually meet these qualifications, just 'aren't a good fit' or are 'too easy'."
"Wow. You even worked an X-Files reference into your theory. This is fantastic. You could become a monk."
"It has always been my experience that all the women I was terrible to stayed with me and kept expecting me to change - to commit to them and them alone, to see some bright spark burning in their eyes and the kind deeds they did and be convinced that I wanted to change and that they were the one for me all along."
"Yeah, but you were too busy pursuing women that didn't do these things, hoping they would see that 'rare spark burning in your eyes'. God, who writes your inner dialogue?"
"We want what we can't have?"
"We all want to feel appreciated and special. Think of the ramifications if a person actually changes for you. How would that make you feel other than God-like? A person totally changed who they were and what they were doing for you? That's such an ego-trip. However, by doing this you are placing your sense of self worth in the hands of another as you seek some intangible approval; some recognition that this person cares. You have somehow neglected to associate caring with a person that actually does all of those things that you wish someone would do. Instead, caring to you has become 'if they change then they love me'. Of course, if they actually change, you'll probably leave and if they don't change, you'll probably leave."
What are you saying?"
"You're no better than most other people out there, but you have one tremendous thing going for you."
"Hmmm?"
"You can change yourself."
"Oh Jeez. You've lost your mind again. I warned you about doing that."
"I haven't lost my mind. I'm just tired of getting hurt. I think it's better to be with someone I just mildly enjoy than someone I actually love. I seem to perform much better in those relationships."
"You're not letting this one go are you?"
"I think women should all have that Fox Mulder poster hanging in their rooms - 'I Want To Believe'. They all seem to wander around desperately hoping that the man they have fallen for will somehow change, act differently, appreciate them more, stop hitting them, drink less, buy them flowers, spend more time with them, want to do the dishes, etc. Meanwhile the men they find that actually meet these qualifications, just 'aren't a good fit' or are 'too easy'."
"Wow. You even worked an X-Files reference into your theory. This is fantastic. You could become a monk."
"It has always been my experience that all the women I was terrible to stayed with me and kept expecting me to change - to commit to them and them alone, to see some bright spark burning in their eyes and the kind deeds they did and be convinced that I wanted to change and that they were the one for me all along."
"Yeah, but you were too busy pursuing women that didn't do these things, hoping they would see that 'rare spark burning in your eyes'. God, who writes your inner dialogue?"
"We want what we can't have?"
"We all want to feel appreciated and special. Think of the ramifications if a person actually changes for you. How would that make you feel other than God-like? A person totally changed who they were and what they were doing for you? That's such an ego-trip. However, by doing this you are placing your sense of self worth in the hands of another as you seek some intangible approval; some recognition that this person cares. You have somehow neglected to associate caring with a person that actually does all of those things that you wish someone would do. Instead, caring to you has become 'if they change then they love me'. Of course, if they actually change, you'll probably leave and if they don't change, you'll probably leave."
What are you saying?"
"You're no better than most other people out there, but you have one tremendous thing going for you."
"Hmmm?"
"You can change yourself."
Seriously, you should just publish your blog. It's better than most of the stuff out there. I'd buy it. Very intriguing.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Nice X Files reference!