Deal With It

I was speaking to someone about relationships the other day. She actually specializes in relationships and that kind of stuff. People that study human behavior and the manifestations of human emotions and impulses really intrigue me. I often wonder what more they see in the world and in people's behaviors than maybe I do - sort of the same way I might see more legal things in the world around me than she might. We ended up discussing this recurring theme I have been hearing from several women in relationships as of late - "It's not supposed to be hard." We both agreed that this is really not a realistic perspective. Relationships are not like the movies. They involve work and can be challenging in balancing the nuances of two people's lives and emotions.

It, of course, is individual; some relationships really are terrible, and should be ended. However, a lot of the relationship problems I have been seeing, as of late, stem from people that have issues that they refuse to contend with and from people that refuse to put forth any real effort in the relationship. A complete and total belief that if they just put their heads in the sand, it will be ok. After all, relationships should work like they do in the moves, conflict with total resolution within two hours. There's always the excuse, "I'll deal with it later, when there is less going on." Somehow the relationship, that at one point was extremely important to you, has taken the back seat to your career, job, friends, and the rest of your life. It's a great way of avoiding because life happens and there's always something you can find that's more important. There's also the one where you blame the other person for everything wrong with the relationship, but a relationship is two people, never just one.

Relationships are work. Deal with it. The concept is that you are with a person that you care about enough to put forth that amount of effort and energy.